Conversation and interaction – Parents
Young children begin learning about conversation within the first few weeks following birth! The new born baby learns to focus on faces, give eye contact and vocalise to indicate his/her needs to the carer. Non-verbal interactions, such as eye contact, facial expression, imitation and turn-taking are important foundation skills for language development. These non-verbal interaction skills are then used throughout life when we interact with others.
Play is not only enjoyable for a child but it also is important in encouraging the skills necessary for language development. These include:
- Concentration
- Listening
- Development of concepts (shape, position, colour)
- Symbolic understanding (toys are symbols for objects in the same way that words are symbols)
When children are playing they are also developing their social communication skills. As they get older, these skills practised in play enable them to work co-operatively in a group with others. To take part in a conversation with others, children need to be able to:
- Take turns to talk
- Listen to others
- Be aware of what the listener knows and what they are interested in
- Talk about the same topic as others, and change topic appropriately
- Start conversations and join conversations appropriately
- Keep conversations going with a range of people in different situations, by making
- relevant comments or by asking questions.
As children get older, they are expected to be able to use language to interact appropriately with others, including asking questions, negotiating, giving opinions and discussing ideas and feelings. They need to know the appropriate language for each situation they experience (e.g. when to use slang, and when to use more formal language).
Talking Tips
- Talk face to face and make eye contact with your child.
- Use open questions, rather than closed questions to encourage more than a yes/no response.
- Be honest – if you have not understood your child, ask them to explain again. This develops their self-awareness and gives them an opportunity to repair the conversation
- Keep background noise to a minimum
- Give your child plenty of time to respond and try to avoid anticipating or completing your child’s utterance.
0-12 months
Conversation and interaction
Children of this age will engage in exploratory play – they explore toys and objects using their mouth and hands. They will also look at adults closely and copy movements, e.g., dropping objects. There is limited interaction with other children and play is described as solitary.
Babies will respond to voice and sound, e.g., they will make eye contact and smile when spoken to. They will ‘talk’ using babbling, squealing and cooing and also try and communicate through actions and gestures.
1-2 years
Conversation and interaction
Children of this age start to play with adults and notice other children. They are starting to learn through cause and effect e.g., banging two objects together and finding what sound it makes and also like repetitive actions such as putting object in and out of boxes.
Children of this age will start to take turns when talking. They will also practice intonation, imitating the natural up and down tones that occur in adult speech.
Communication Station Video: Let’s play – supporting early interaction and communication
2-3 years
Conversation and interaction
Children of this age begin to use symbols in their play such as a stick becoming a sword. They may start to play alongside other children and copy their play. Children will still be learning through trial and error, he/she will start to show some reasoning skills, e.g. in playing with inset puzzles. Much of children’s play will be ‘imaginative’ for instance playing with large toys – teddies, t-sets or small toys – play people.
Children of this age begin to engage in longer conversations. They also may try and rephrase what they have said if the listener does not understand.
3-4 years
Conversation and interaction
Children of this age are starting to play co-operatively with others and to take turns with other children. They also enjoy make believe play for instance playing ‘let’s pretend’ in the home-corner, or whilst dressing up and cooking.
Children of this age will start to talk about personal experiences, express ideas and feelings and frequently practice conversation skills by talking to themselves.
4-5 years
Conversation and interaction
Children of this age are developing their conversation skills.e.g, beginning to take turns and talk about the same topic.
Your child will be playing co-operatively in groups with other children. Your child will enjoy role play, and may act out common routines (e.g. playing house or schools), or may pretend to be characters from books or TV programmes.
Your child will understand and use a range of emotion words, and will show some awareness of the emotions of others (e.g. by attempting to comfort an upset friend).
5-7 years
Conversation and interaction
Children’s conversational skills are developing. They’re now more able to start conversations with other people and join in with groups already talking.
They will join in co-operative games with friends and help and organise complex role play games. They may still find losing hard!
Children can now use language to do a wider range of things – such as ask, negotiate, give opinions and discuss ideas and feelings. For example, “Can Max come and play today, he wants to see my new car and his Mum says it’s ok”. They know to give details that are important and will influence the listener (e.g. ‘his Mum says it’s ok’).
Children’s understanding of the feelings and wishes of their friends is increasing at this age. They are aware of who their friends are, and are able to give reasons why they are friends. Friendships will now include falling out and making up again.
7-9 years
Conversation and interaction
Conversational skills are sufficient to:
- Take turns to talk, listen, and respond in two way conversations and groups.
- Use language they hear other people using and begin to be aware of current peer language.
- Begin to be aware of what the listener knows already and make checks while telling a story. E.g. “You know Jason, he’s the boy who lives next to Sally, he’s got a big dog, well he was at the park with….”
- Exaggerate in an implausible way, to make stories more exciting. E.g. “Last week at Granny’s we had the biggest pizza in the world.”
Self-awareness and awareness of others is developing further during this period. Children will show an interest in their peer’s (e.g. their likes and dislikes), and may use this information in their social interactions (e.g. suggesting playing a game they know the other child likes to gain their friendship). Children can identify how their friends are feeling, using tone of voice and facial expressions. They are able to put themselves ‘in another person’s shoes’ and work out what that person might be thinking.
At this age children are learning that they need to use different styles of talk with different people. For example, terms like ‘’cool, ‘hiya!’ or ‘yeah right’ are used with friends but not teachers.
9-11 years
Conversation and interaction
Children are now able to keep conversations going with a range of people in different situations, by making relevant comments or by asking questions. They use language for a range of different reasons (e.g. complementing or criticizing, clarifying or negotiating). This is important for building friendships.
Children are now able to use formal language when appropriate in some familiar situations , e.g. Showing a visitor around school.
Children are able to put interest into their voices to make storytelling exciting and come to life. They may add detail or leave information out according to how much is already known by the listener. They also understand more about the interests of the listener (E.g. “Guess who I saw yesterday…”).
Children are now able to work out how someone else might be feeling, what they might be thinking, and what they might do next using the context. For example, my friend is running towards me holding a piece of paper, I think he’s about to give me a message, he’s smiling so it must be good news. They use this information to successfully make and maintain a number of friendships with peers in their age group.
11-14 years
Conversation and interaction
Young people are now able to:
- Negotiate an agreement explaining other options and possible outcomes.
- Manage and organise collaborative tasks with little adult supervision.
- Realise when people don’t fully understand and try to help them.
- Enjoy organising group games and explain the rules effectively.
- Start to understand sarcasm. Though it needs to have more exaggerated context, tone of voice and facial expression clues to help them fully understand that what’s said isn’t necessarily what’s meant. E.g. “That’s a brilliant idea, make as much noise as you can whilst your Dad is trying to sleep!”
The skills for making and maintaining friendships will be established by this age, although will be tested by changing friendship groups and social dynamics. Young people will be able to read ‘hidden social rules’ and use these to interact appropriately with different groups of people – at home, with friends, talking to a teacher, etc.
14 years +
Conversation and interaction
Young people are now able to:
- Stay on one topic of conversation for long periods and move sensibly from one topic to another
- Switch easily between informal and formal styles of talking depending on the audience
- Understand sarcasm and irony, e.g. ‘I love your shoes’
The skills for making and maintaining friendships will be established by this age, although will be tested by changing friendship groups and social dynamics. Young people will be able to read ‘hidden social rules’ and use these to interact appropriately with different groups of people – at home, with friends, talking to a teacher, etc.